


In Which Tony is a Little Shit (And No One is Surprised)

by Penndragon27



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Deaged!Tony, Established Relationship, Flirting, Happy Ending, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Humour, Jealous Steve, M/M, Steve Needs a Hug, Superhusbands, commission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:48:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23631874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penndragon27/pseuds/Penndragon27
Summary: So Tony turned into a teenager. No big deal, right? It's not like it's permanent.Of course, there is the fact that he seems to despise Captain America...
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 35
Kudos: 474





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Arlae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arlae/gifts).



> This work was a commission by @arlaeflores. Hope you enjoy!

Tony was dying. 

He could feel it, overtaking him, settling in his bones, weighing him down so he couldn’t lift his limbs. His face was pressed down, preventing him from letting out any noise that wasn’t a pained groan.

“You’re not dying, Tony.”

Reluctantly tilting his head to free his mouth, Tony glared.

“I am. Put me out of my misery. My time has come.”

Steve rolled his eyes as he buttoned up his shirt.

“No, your time will come if you’re late to the party and Pepper finds you.”

“She wouldn’t kill a dying man.”

Steve laughed and walked over to sit on the edge of the bed. His hand landed on Tony’s back, rubbing soothing circles. Tony hummed in pleasure, arching into the pressure like a cat.

“Maybe this will teach you to get a regular sleep schedule.”

Tony dropped his jaw. “Blasphemy. Stop talking. More touching.”

“Anymore touching and we will definitely be late,” Steve’s eyes darkened.

“I’m failing to see a downside.”

“Come on.”

Steve swept Tony into his arms and carried him to the closet, setting him down in front of the extravagant tie selection.

“Get dressed.”

Tony looked up at him with the pout he knew made Steve turn to mush.

“I used to like your muscles,” he whined. “But they have betrayed me.”

Steve held back a laugh, allowing a sympathetic smile. 

“We don’t have to stay long. And after my muscles can make it up to you.”

Tony’s eyes lit up.

“Really?”

“But you have to get dressed first.”

Tony glared at the ties, trying to find the ugliest one out of spite.

“I hate you so much sometimes.”

Steve chuckled as he turned around.

“Guess you shouldn’t have married me, then.”

* * *

The party was beautiful. They always were. Shimmering silk, sparkling jewels, and the air scented with wine and expensive perfume.

It wasn’t even as bad as it used to be, not now that Tony had Steve on his arm, supporting him throughout the night.

Still, though, it was not where Tony wanted to be. He longed for the calmness of their home. For Steve cooking in their kitchen, Tony latched onto his back because he wanted to be close to his husband, even though he said it was because it was cold.

He felt cold now, though, even under the layers of his suit. Steve had been called away to talk politics and Tony was by the bar, wondering if a stiff drink would help warm him up.

Fists clenched, he turned away to see someone coming up to talk to him. As usual at these events, it wasn’t someone he wanted to speak to. Unusually, though, it was a god of Asgard.

“Anthony. You’re looking as tired as always.”

“Loki. I didn’t realize you were invited.”

The god clutched his chest in mock horror. “Isn’t it appalling? I talked to the host immediately and he’s ever so sorry about the mix-up.”

“I’m sure he is.”

“Your husband looks as happy to be here as you are, though he wasn’t born into this life. I’ve always wondered, is he the arm candy in this situation? Or are you, being younger and all?”

“In this situation, I’m sure there’s arm candy to go around.”

Loki laughed. “This is why I like you, Anthony. The other Avengers take things so seriously.”

“I know you mean that as a compliment, but I feel slightly offended.”

“Now, now. You should be glad I’m here. This party needed livening up.”

Tony motioned to the bartender, someone familiar who knew to only pour him a soda.

“Your version of livening up is what worries me.”

“You wound me. Would you really be averse to me causing a small fire or two?”

Tony raised an eyebrow.

“Metaphorically speaking, of course.”

Still wary, Tony took a sip of his drink and watched Steve. An old general was clapping his back, laughing, and Steve was smiling weakly, clearly uncomfortable.

“It’s like you said,” Tony replied. “I was born into it. I’m used to it.”

“That sounds frightfully boring.” Loki had made a cup appear in his hand at some point, probably for the sole purpose of taking a dramatic sip.

“That was my life.”

“You spent your childhood as some prized trophy? And I thought  _ my  _ father was irritating.”

Tony didn’t mention that he was anything but  _ prized  _ growing up, but clearly the sentiment came across, if Loki’s expression was anything to go by.

“Shame. Seems we both had a wasted childhood.”

“Aren’t you still a child in Asgard years?”

Loki ignored him. “I’m sorry, Anthony. Hopefully the future provides better opportunities for happiness.”

Tony would never make the mistake of thinking Loki as kind, but he nodded in thanks before bidding him farewell and going to rescue his husband.

“You don’t mind if I borrow the Captain for a moment?” Tony pasted on his trademark smile, hiding the fact that he had no intention of returning Steve to their clutches.

They gave his husband up reluctantly and Tony pulled Steve out of the room, doing his best to hide the fact that he was all but running.

“Tony…”

“Ssh,” he hissed. “We’re undercover.”

“Undercover? As what?” Steve chuckled, but seemed to be humouring Tony.

“People who want to be here.”

Tony watched his husband laugh loudly, a smile of his own tracing his lips. Once they were in the entry hall, Tony pulled him into an alcove and pushed Steve against a wall.

“Are we still undercover?” Steve’s voice had gone quiet.

“With any luck, we’ll be under some covers shortly.”

Before he could argue, Tony leaned forward to bring their mouths together. Steve was trying to keep the kiss sweet and chaste, but with a quick nip to his bottom lip and a rough squeeze of that beautiful ass, Steve had to give in. Tony swallowed his moan as he brought them up to full on make out.

“Tony,” Steve breathed as Tony moved to his neck. “We’re in public.”

He hummed against the skin. “We are. Just making sure you’re in the right mindset.”

“And what- oh gosh,” Steve choked as Tony got to work marking up his neck. “What mindset is that?”

Tony pulled back to take in his beautiful husband, flushed and slack-jawed, pupils blown with pleasure. He smirked, victory warming his belly.

“Where you’re just as desperate to leave early as I am.”

Steve groaned, but thankfully didn’t argue. He grabbed Tony’s hand and pulled him outside where Happy was already waiting to drive them home.

* * *

In the morning, Steve woke up feeling warm and happy. For a brief moment he allowed himself to notice how… unremarkable it was. He had woken up happy for many mornings now, largely owing to his husband.

His husband, who was currently a shapeless blob under the blankets. Laughing to himself, Steve got up for the day, hastily changing for his run so he’d be able to get back in time before Tony woke up.

Despite Tony being a tad devious at the party, he’d more than made up for it when they got home and Steve was thinking of bringing him breakfast in bed. 

Plan formed, Steve pressed a kiss to the lump of blankets (he was assuming it was somewhere near Tony’s head) and left.

He had managed to rope Sam and Bucky into joining him, even though Sam complained about how unfair it was that he was expected to keep up with a couple super soldiers.

“Think of it as motivation,” Bucky joked. “We’re like Tantalus’ fruit, ever out of reach. But you can keep trying.”

“I thought he was Brooklyn trash like you,” Sam grumbled, earning a glare from the proud Brooklyn boys.

“Sure, I dropped out of school,” Bucky conceded. “But I’ve recently learned I like reading. It’s calming.”

Steve smiled at his friend. “I’m glad. Whatever helps.”

Sam shrugged, unwilling to argue with Bucky getting better, then began stretching. “How far today?”

“Not too far,” Steve said. “I have to be back before nine.”

“Because of Tony?”

His friends smirked knowingly, but Steve didn’t feel any embarrassment.

“He’s my husband now. I’m not ashamed of wanting him to wake up to me.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “You guys are such losers.”

“Jealous,” Steve shot back, running off before they could argue.

Despite the teasing, it was a good run. He even managed to work up a sweat by the time they made it back to the tower and Steve headed straight for the bathroom, not wanting to wake Tony up until he smelled mango soap.

He walked out with a towel around his waist and couldn’t help his disappointment at seeing that Tony was waking up, before he’d had a chance to cook breakfast.

“Morning, babe,” he said as he opened his drawer.

“What the hell?”

Steve froze. Tony’s voice sounded off.

“I know I sleep around, but I can’t help thinking this seems a tad illegal.”

Slowly turning around, Steve gaped at the sight of a teenager in their bed. A teenager who looked remarkably like his husband.

He couldn’t bring himself to form words, though it didn’t matter because the kid kept talking.

“Holy shit. Are you Captain America look-alike or something? Did I hire you for wild hate sex or something?”

“Who are you?” Steve croaked, head spinning at the shock. It looked like Tony, but it wasn’t. Sure, he had his eyes and he looked like the old MIT photos he’d seen, but this was a teenager. Steve was pretty sure his husband was a grown ass man.

“You don’t know? Didn’t you invite me over? This is your place, right? Damn, how drunk was I? I don’t have a hangover, though.”

He started to stand up, but the teenager was as naked as Tony had been last night. Steve hurriedly turned away, grabbing clothes at random from the drawer to throw behind him. Then he grabbed some for himself before heading to the bathroom.

“Get dressed,” he called over his shoulder. “Then we’ll figure out what is going on.”

With the bathroom door shut, Steve leaned against the counter, looking at his reflection.

“What the hell?” he asked. “What the actual hell?”

When he was decent, he walked back out, hoping it was all a brief hallucination. Unfortunately, his bed was still occupied by a teenage Tony Stark. At least this time they both had pants on. Steve wasn’t sure if those were his or Tony’s, but either way they were too big and Tony made no move to fix the collar barely holding onto his shoulder.

“You ready to tell me why I’m here?” Tony asked. Steve had to assume this was Tony.

“You’re a kid.”

“Rude,” he spat. “Ugh, did you not know I’m underage? I won’t sue, if that’s what’s worrying you.”

Steve tried very hard not to think about why teenage Tony was so relaxed about that.

“We didn’t- I mean, not with you. I wasn’t-”

“Oh,” Tony said. “Then would you mind lending me your phone so I can call Jarvis?”

Before Steve could say anything, the AI broke in.

“I am here, Sir. If that is you, of course.”

Tony leapt up. “What the fuck?”

“JARVIS,” Steve said. “Please call the Avengers, tell them to meet us in the kitchen. Also, so a scan. This  _ is  _ Tony, right?”

“Of course I’m Tony,” the boy said, arms crossed. “Who else would I be?”

“Scans indicate it is Sir, albeit some decades younger.”

Tony looked like he wanted to say more, but Steve cut him off by grabbing his wrist and dragging him out of the room.

“Watch it, man! What the hell is going on? What do you mean, younger? And why is Jarvis talking from the ceiling?”

Steve did not feel fit to explain, mainly because he was still trying to grasp what on earth was going on. Thankfully, the Avengers were assembled in the kitchen and they could help him deal with it.

“Alright, Cap, why did you- Holy fuck!” Clint cried out as he saw who Steve was with. “Did you and your man have a kid a few years ago? Oh my gosh, is this one of Tony’s supposed illegitimate love children?”

“I don’t have any love child,” Tony said. “I’ve only slept with guys so far, anyway.”

Steve resisted the urge to cover his ears, trying not to think about a teenage Tony who had been to MIT with students much older than him. His husband had never spoken much about it, but it was clear that before Pepper and Steve, his love life was more than complicated.

“What happened?” Nat asked, watching Tony like he was a ticking bomb.

“I don’t know,” Steve said. “I woke up and he was…” he waved vaguely.

Then he noticed Thor standing off to the side, mysteriously silent during all of this. Steve crossed his arms and stared at him.

“Steven, I do not know why you are looking at me.”

Steve raised an eyebrow.

“Alright, I concede. My brother did mention something last night.”

“So Loki’s behind this?” Bruce’s gaze was focused on his tablet, typing furiously. “I guess that rules out a scientific cause.”

“He did not want to harm Stark,” Thor hurried to explain. “He merely expressed his concern for Stark’s upsetting childhood. I think he wanted to give him a second chance.”

“My childhood was not upsetting,” Tony broke in, despite clearly not fully understanding what was going on. “And I’m a teenager, this isn’t my childhood.”

Steve rolled his eyes before looking at Thor. He knew Thor meant well and that he truly believed in Loki’s innocence, but Steve had been down this road and knew to expect chaos.

“Thanks, Thor. But how do we fix this?”

“I am sure it will only last a few days,” Thor said. “Loki has pulled similar pranks before and they rarely go on longer than a week. He gets bored with it by then.”

“Great,” Clint muttered. “Tony’s safety relies on the entertainment of a guy who gave birth to a giant apocalypse-wolf.”

Thor opened his mouth, probably to give his go-to explanation of the situation, but he was cut off.

“So we just wait it out?” Steve didn’t like the idea, but he supposed it was better than something deadly or permanent. Besides, it could never be as bad as those weeks when Tony was away on missions, sometimes without contact, and Steve was stuck at home to wonder if he’d ever see him again…

“Hi, Tony here.”

They all startled- minus Nat and Bucky- clearly forgetting he was in the room.

“Yeah, still here. Um, now that you’re done with all that, would you mind telling me who the hell you are and what the fuck is going on?”

Everyone looked to Steve, which was rude since he only called a meeting to get out of explanations. And because he was a responsible Captain, but not as important.

“Well,” he said slowly. “You’re in the future. Kind of. Yesterday you were an adult, but you seem to have been deaged.”

Tony nodded slowly. “Alright. That actually explains a lot.”

They gaped at him and he shrugged. “It’s either that or time travel. The tech here is very bitchin, can I say. I’ve been signing to the AI behind your back and apparently we’re in New York?”

Steve whirled around to see a screen behind him showing an aerial view of the city.

“JARVIS!”

“Apologies, Captain. My protocols still view Sir as priority, even the younger version.”

Steve turned to the highly trained assassins, who clearly didn’t miss it and were now muffling their laughter.

“Anyway,” Steve bit out. “We’re the Avengers. We live in your tower and do superhero stuff.”

Tony’s eyes widened. “And what? I’m your sugar daddy?”

“No,” Steve said at the same time everyone else (even Bruce) said “Yes.”

“You’re also part of the team,” Steve stressed, glaring at the others. “You’re Iron Man.”

Tony’s face shuttered. “Did I choose that name?”

“No, the media…” He trailed off at the expression on the kid’s face and realization hit him. Tony rarely talked about Howard, but he had mentioned the family mantra:  _ Stark men are made of iron. _

“Anyway,” Steve coughed awkwardly. “This is the team: Nat, Bruce, Thor, Sam, Clint, and Bucky.”

Tony snorted, looking at the ex-assassin. “You are way too hot to be named Bucky.”

Steve tamped down his frustration, reminding himself this was a different Tony than the one who danced with him, cooked with him (without managing any actual cooking). Steve had years learning what made Tony tick, but now he was starting from scratch.

“Actually,” Steve bit out. “He’s Bucky Barnes. Turns out you’re not the only one out of your time.”

Tony looked at Steve, analytical. He could see when the pieces finally fit.

“So you’re-”

“Captain America, in the flesh and blood.”

Steve wasn’t sure what he was expecting. Awe, shock, disbelief. He wouldn’t be averse to a bit of fanboying, if only so he could tease Tony about it when he was back.

Instead, he was met with disgust. Something Steve had never seen on Tony’s face when they were looking at each other. Unless Steve had just eaten a tub of cottage cheese plain, but even then the disgust was filtered through fondness.

“You’re Captain America?” Tony’s voice was trying for monotone, but some bitterness leaked through. “Like, from the 40s?”

Steve nodded, dread tightening his gut.

“And we slept together?”

There were shouts of shock, the others looking at Steve in horror, and he rushed to explain.

“No, no, no. I mean, last night, yes, but Tony was an adult then. I swear!”

“Why the hell would any version of me sleep with you?”

Steve didn’t know what it said about Tony that deaging was fine, but being with Captain America was not.

“I think it’s part of the whole ‘being married’ thing,” Sam said, unhelpfully. Tony gaped.

“I get married? To Captain fucking America?”

“You could do worse,” Clint pointed out.

“No,” Tony said. “No, I cannot. What the hell? Am I that fucked up as an adult? Would no one else take me? Since when is Captain America gay?”

The boy was pacing, hands waving frantically as he struggled to comprehend the information. Steve wanted to comfort him, but had a feeling it would not be accepted at the moment. 

Tony had paused in his pacing to look up in horror.

“Tell me the truth,” he said seriously. “Do I grow up  _ ugly _ ?”

Clint snorted. “Don’t worry, you’re a regular silver fox.”

Steve smacked him upside the head. Tony was still processing, so he walked slowly towards him.

“I know this is a lot,” he said. “We can go somewhere else to talk, if you want.”

He reached out a hand only for it to be slapped away. Steve clutched his hand to his chest- not because it hurt. Physically, at least.

“I’m sorry,” Tony said, not sounding sorry at all. “But I think you’ve all gone a bit loony. Is this some prank? Or a really poorly done kidnapping?”

“Tony-”

“If I may,” JARVIS cut in, most likely preventing a fight that would not favour Steve. “I have sent a message to Colonel Rhodes and he is on his way. He is taking the suit, so his arrival is imminent.”

“Honeybear?” Tony’s face immediately softened. Steve ignored the way his heart clenched.

“Yes, Sir.”

“Okay,” Tony said. “I’m going to wait until Rhodey gets here. JARVIS, point me to a room that hasn’t been contaminated by the flag-fucker.”

Tony left and Steve would’ve laughed at the nickname if it hadn’t been spoken with such derision.

“Apologies, Captain,” JARVIS spoke from above. “I shall attempt to catch up sir on as much information as I can.”

“Thank you, JARVIS. And thank you for calling Rhodes.”

“Of course, Captain. It is part of the Mamma Bear Protocol that he be informed of any safety concerns regarding Sir.”

Steve smiled slightly at the name, but it fell when he turned around to see the Avengers looking at him with pity.

“I’m fine,” he said, almost as if he believed it.

The others filed out slowly, patting his shoulder as he went.

“I’m fine,” he repeated, thankful they were gone when his voice cracked.

* * *

When Rhodes arrived, he landed on the platform in full armor and Tony was waiting for him, jaw dropped with shock.

“Rhodey, you have never been sexier.”

Steve rolled his eyes and Rhodes must’ve done the same, because his voice was reluctantly fond when he answered.

“You would say that, seeing as you built it.”

JARVIS must’ve explained the suits to Tony, because he just laughed. “Would you expect anything less?”

Rhodes shook his head before allowing the armor to open so he could step out, still in full uniform. Tony’s nose scrunched up.

“Oh Platypus, you’re old!”

“And I thought I was done with your teenage shenanigans.”

That seemed to be as long as they could go pretending to be annoyed with each other because then Tony was launching himself into Rhodes’ arms, clutching tightly.

The Colonel stumbled back a step, but caught him.

“At least this is easier on my back than when you’re an adult.”

“I missed you, honeybear.”

Rhodey laughed before detangling the teen off of him. Tony returned to the ground, if reluctantly.

“Let me look at you. Holy shit, it’s like you just walked into our dorm room.”

Tony looked down, blushing, but Steve knew his husband well enough, even this version, that he knew he was pleased at Rhodes’ protectiveness.

“I need you to save me, platypus! They’re saying I’m married! To Captain America!”

“Tones-”

“No,” Tony backed away slowly. “Tell me it’s not- I didn’t-”

Rhodes looked over to send Steve a pitying glance. Steve looked down awkwardly.

“I know you have issues about him-”

“I do  _ not  _ have issues-”

“But,” Rhodes interrupted. “You did marry him. A couple years ago, actually.”

Tony frowned. “So we’re, like, an  _ old  _ couple?”

“And ridiculously in love. It’s quite nauseating at times.”

“Nauseating is right.” Tony clutched his stomach and Steve tried not to be offended. But he was, of course. He was hurt and sad and angry.

“Tony,” he said softly, pulling the kid’s gaze away from his friend. “Can we talk?”

“Nope,” Tony said. “I’m gonna go shoot things in my workshop. Join me at some point, honeybear.”

Rhodes nodded and Tony left. Steve looked after him sadly before Rhodes’ sigh pulled him out of it.

“Man, it’s like back when you two were pining over each other.”

Steve sputtered. “He’s a kid! I’m not pining!”

“I don’t mean you wanna sleep with him. I just mean you’re sad he doesn’t like you.”

“Do you,” Steve swallowed, unsure if he wanted the answer. “Do you know why that is?”

“I do,” Rhodes said slowly. “You won’t like it.”

“He’s never met me.” Steve knew he was whining, but didn’t particularly care. “How could he hate me so much?”

“Did Tones ever talk to you about Howard?”

“Not much. He was cold, he was distant.”

“And he was trying to find you. All of Tony’s childhood, Howard could only talk about you and how amazing you were. At first, he was a fan. If five year old Tony showed up, he’d probably latch onto your leg and never let go.”

Steve smiled at the thought. Tony was probably adorable as a toddler, since he was always adorable. Even as an angry teen, Steve couldn’t help wanting to wrap him up in a blanket and hand him tea. He was likely to get punched in the face for it, but still.

“What changed?”

“He grew up. Howard was expecting more from him and every time he failed, his dad compared him to you. Man, he’d complain about you all the time.”

“Oh. So he hates me.”

Rhodes opened his mouth, maybe to argue, but ultimately said nothing. Guess it was true.

“I’m sorry, Cap.”

Steve shook off the comforting hand and turned to go back inside. He didn’t want to be around people anymore.

* * *

Steve managed to avoid everyone for the rest of the day. He taped a piece of paper to his wall so he could count down the days until Tony was back.  _ His  _ Tony. 

At most, there were six days left. Great.

The next morning he opted out of a run. He had woken up alone in his bed, which was already a terrible start. It was made worse by him remembering what had happened the day before and that the love of his life was now a teenager who hated him.

He padded into the kitchen, wrapped up in Tony’s hoodie even though it was too small. It smelled like him, though, so he hugged it close. 

It was only Sam in the kitchen, thankfully, and it only took one withering glare to prevent him from trying to pity him.

“I made eggs.” He put a plate down and Steve poked at them listlessly, not hungry for once.

All too soon there were footsteps and then Tony was there. Still a teen and still glaring at Steve the moment he saw him.

“Morning, Tony,” Steve said, soft and hopeful.

Tony just nodded in greeting before turning to Sam and making grabby hands.

“What’s the magic word, Stark?”

“You’re hot?”

Steve, who had finally managed a bite of food, promptly choked. Sam, the jerk, just laughed and handed Tony a plate.

“Close enough.”

Steve frowned and didn’t miss the smug look Tony sent him.

“Adult you will be annoyed. He refuses to flirt with Sam.”

Tony grinned. “Now I know there’s something wrong with him. Why would he resist appreciating such wonderful muscles. And that beard. I promised myself I’d end up with someone with at least some decent stubble.”

Steve self-consciously stroked his clean shaven face. He’d considered growing a beard, but Tony had told him he preferred men without. Was that a lie? To prevent Steve from the trouble?

“Maybe it’s because you end up with a beard when you’re older,” Sam said as he tried to suppress his laughter.

“That’s weird. I’d look dumb with a beard.”

“I think Steve here disagrees, huh, Cap?”

“I am not discussing my husband’s appearance with his teenage self, Sam.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Figures you’d be all proper. How did I not get sick of you within a week?”

“Oh don’t worry,” Sam broke in before Steve could. “You guys fought for months. We were all sick of it. Then you guys banged and it was love ever since.”

“Can we please not discuss banging with a minor?” Steve bit out.

“Can we please not discuss me banging Captain America?” Tony frowned.

Sam held his hands up in defeat and they ate in relative silence. Of course, in the Avengers household, that could only last five minutes.

“Sir, it would seem Mr. Parker is paying a visit.”

“Oh, that’s my adopted son, right?”

Sam burst into tears with laughter and Steve facepalmed.

“No. No, he’s not. He’s interning here and you help him with his superhero stuff.”

“The spider kid, right?”

“I’m not a spider kid!”

They all turned to see Peter had arrived. At the sight of Tony, his eyes widened.

“Oh my gosh! You’re almost my age!”

Steve watched two, trying to stop his head from spinning at the sight.

“You sure we aren’t related? You have some of my dashing good looks-”

“No!” Steve stood up and pulled Tony back by the collar of his shirt.

“You can flirt with Bucky and Sam and Rhodes, but you are not flirting with an actual minor.”

“But I am a minor,” Tony said.

“I don’t care. Nope.”

“No worries, Mr. America,” Peter smiled sheepishly, his cheeks flushed pink. “Honestly, I’m just surprised Mr. Stark was a twink.”

Tony gaped. “I am  _ not  _ a twink!”

Steve raised his eyebrows. “You kinda are.”

“I am a hunk, I’ll have you know.”

Sam, Peter, and Steve exchanged looks.

“Okay, maybe not,” Tony conceded. “But I’m at least a twunk.”

“Give it a few years,” Sam said. “You’ll grow out of it.”

Tony crossed his arms. “Is there a reason you’re here, spider boy?”

“Oh,” Peter smiled. “Ms. Potts told me what happened and I wanted to see. Are you guys taking pictures? This is insane, right? Or do you not want people knowing Cap’s married to a teen?”

“We’re not married,” Steve and Tony said at the same time. Steve swallowed.

“No, we aren’t documenting it beyond JARVIS’ usual monitoring. And Tony will be back to himself by next week.”

“And I would never marry such a pretty boy. I mean honestly, the only blond I’ve ever dated was Ty and he-”

Tony trailed off. Steve, who had met Tiberius Stone, put a hand on his arm. Unsurprisingly, it was shaken off.

“Whatever,” Tony muttered. “Thanks for gawking, I’m gonna go find Rhodey.”

“Tony,” Sam called after him. “We’re having a team movie night tonight, if you want to join us.”

“Maybe.”

Tony left and Steve let his face fall to the counter. He wasn’t sure who patted his back soothingly, but he appreciated it.

* * *

Steve wasn’t sure why they were having a movie night when there was a crisis. Sure, it wasn’t exactly a crisis, but still.

“It’ll cheer you up,” Nat said. “You can even choose the movie.”

Steve hugged a pillow to his chest, resting his chin on the top. 

“Can we watch  _ Megamind _ ?”

“Of course,” Nat patted his shoulder and JARVIS queued up the movie. Everyone was seated, but Tony and Rhodes hadn't shown up yet. They were about to give up on them when Rhodes entered, a laughing Tony attached to his back.

“Enjoy this while you can, it ends when you’re grown up again.”

Tony settled back onto the floor. “Nah, you just need to be in better shape.”

Rhodey elbowed him in the side before collapsing onto the couch next to Sam. Tony looked around, clearly faced with an issue.

Normally on movie night, Peter and Rhodey weren’t there and Tony was cuddled up with Steve. Now however, there were no free seats.

Steve was about to stand up and get a chair from the kitchen when Tony, little shit that he was, smirked at Steve as he walked over to sit on Bruce’s lap.

“Tony,” Bruce said. “What are you doing?”

“Taking a seat,” Tony said innocently. “JARVIS showed me your work Dr. Banner and you are, hands down, the best nuclear physicist in the world.”

“Oh,” Bruce said, face heating. “Thank you.”

“And brains are very sexy.”

Bruce clearly got over his embarrassment because he pushed Tony onto the floor. Unfazed, he settled down and rested his head against Bruce’s knees.

Steve watched them, frowning. Adult Tony had never said that to Bruce, not that he knew of. Tony hated saying people were smarter than him. But here he was, paying Bruce the highest compliment.

When Tony met his gaze and scoffed, Steve felt his stomach clench in pain. Maybe it was the two bowls of popcorn he’d already worked through, but it was more likely to be the fact that this version of his husband held him in such disdain.

The movie played and, since younger Tony had never seen it before, he was delighted at every moment. Steve knew the movie by heart, since Tony wanted to watch it every time he was sick, so instead he watched Tony’s face. His laughter, his worry. 

This was the kid who would grow into the love of his life. What had happened?

When the movie ended and the popcorn demolished, they all stood up to leave. Tony followed Rhodes out and Steve resisted the urge to reach out a hand. He just wanted his husband back. He didn’t want to go back to their empty room and their empty bed. He wanted to hold Tony-  _ his  _ Tony- in his arms. He wanted the flirting and the giggling and the sappy love confessions.

“Hey, you okay?”

Steve looked up to see Bucky smiling down at him sympathetically. 

“My husband hates me.”

“Aw, Steve,” Bucky said. “That’s not your husband. That’s who your husband used to be. Do you think if teenage-you showed up he’d be all over Tony?”

“Yes,” Steve said. “Teenage me could still appreciate a fine piece.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “And that’s me done. Only a few more days and he’ll be back and you two will be as irritating as ever.”

Bucky gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze before leaving. Then Steve was all alone.

“JARVIS?”

“Yes, Captain?”

“What do you know about Howard?”

“In what regard? I have many files on his history and accomplishments.”

“No,” Steve whispered. “As a father. What was he like to Tony?”

“I’m afraid I cannot answer that, Captain. I know he is not held in high regard by Sir and that my namesake, Edwin Jarvis, was the primary father figure in his life.”

“Right,” Steve said.

Gathering his strength, Steve stood and walked to the kitchen, opening the fridge if only for something to do. When he spotted the mushrooms, Steve got an idea.

It was almost midnight, but he’d been with Tony long enough to know that night was the best time to start tasks. It wasn’t a healthy time, but it was fun.

Before too long he had Tony’s favourite mushroom risotto cooking on the stove. He remembered the first time they had it together, when they went to Italy for their honeymoon. Tony had shown him where his mother’s family was from and where he’d stayed on various family vacations. It was one of Steve’s favourite trips with his husband. Not just because it was their first, but also because it was him learning as much as he could about the man.

He plated the dish, taking care to make it look nice. He even used a sprig of the basil Bruce grew in the kitchen, sure that the doctor wouldn’t mind. He prepared two plates, feeling optimistic, and brought them down to the workshop.

The doors opened for him, Tony apparently not changing the settings, and he was met with  _ Green Day _ blaring through the speakers.

“What the hell? JARVIS!”

The volume lowered and a grease stained Tony popped his head up from his work.

“What are you doing here?”

Steve held up the food in peace. “Thought you might want more than just popcorn.”

Tony narrowed his eyes, but when the smell hit him seemed to give in. He nodded slowly and Steve set down the plates.

“Nice music,” Steve said conversationally as  _ American Idiot _ continued playing (though much more quietly).

“Figured I’d see how music’s changed since I was old.”

Steve laughed, but Tony’s face remained annoyed. When they ate, though, he could tell the kid was trying not to show how good it tasted.

“I’m sorry,” Steve said. “This must be a lot to deal with.”

Tony shrugged.

“If you have any questions or anything…” He trailed off.

“Yeah,” Tony’s voice was sharp and Steve braced himself. “I have a question.”

Steve nodded.

“Why would you marry me?”

“Well,” Steve felt like there was a wrong answer here and he was likely to give it. “Because I love you.”

Tony snorted. “It’s not likely I’ll remember all this when I’m an adult again. You can tell me the truth.”

“That is the truth. We met, we fought, we grew to respect each other, and somewhere along the way we fell in love.”

“Sure.” Tony stood up, leaving his half-eaten meal. “I’m supposed to believe that Mr. Paragon of Virtue decided to end up with the biggest screw up this side of the country?”

“I’m just a guy, Tony,” Steve tried.

“Bullshit,” Tony slammed his hand down on the table. “My dad told me all about you. You were his greatest creation! They broke the mold when they made you! You could do everything right! You wouldn’t be rude or impulsive or immature or gay-”

Tony cut himself off with a sharp breath, his face flushed and his movements slow as he brought a hand to tug at his hair. When he took a step back and stumbled, Steve reached out to steady him. That’s when he smelled it.

“Are you  _ drunk _ ?”

“So what if I am?”

Steve looked down at Tony’s steady gaze, those brown eyes he knew so well shining with tears. Steve had rarely seen his Tony cry, it was as though he’d taught himself not to. This Tony hadn’t learned that yet.

“Tony-”

“It’s not a big deal,” Tony crossed his arms. “I’ve been drinking since I was seven. After all, Howard could hardly drink alone forever. Why not get his disappointing son to join? Why not shove a glass into his hand and tell him to ‘Be a man’ and drink!”

Tony was crying fully now and Steve had to reach out, to wrap his arms around the boy.

He couldn’t, though, because Tony shoved at his chest. It wouldn’t have done much to move Steve, but this was Tony and he had to listen.

“Leave,” Tony’s voice dripped with venom. “Just leave. You’ve seen who I am. When adult-me is back you can just drop him and go on with your perfect life.”

Steve wanted to say more, but at that moment, there was nothing he could say. So he left.

* * *

Tony didn’t see much of Captain America for the next few days, which was fine. He didn’t want to see him anyway.

He didn’t want to see that dumb hair and chiseled jaw and be reminded of just how inadequate he was. He didn’t want to see the guy his future self managed to bag, even though he’d promised himself to hate Captain America with every breath.

The guy being alive all this time shouldn’t have changed that.

In the meantime, he was surrounded by plenty of beautiful Avengers. Tony was a flirt, he found it fun and exciting. Sure, they all saw him as a teen, but maybe if he laid some groundwork his future self could find someone better than Captain America. At least, better for him.

Besides, seeing the pained look on the Captain’s face every time Tony ignored him and flirted with someone else gave him a sick satisfaction. Like he was making up for all the years Howard told him he had no right to complain until he broke into a Nazi camp and broke out a hundred prisoners.

Tony wondered if Iron Man had saved anyone. Would Iron Man have made his dad proud? Or was trying to please Howard some Sisyphean task?

On Tony’s fourth day in the Tower, he was sitting in the kitchen with some coffee, watching Steve clench his fists as Tony talked to Bucky, telling him all about how he was his favourite Commando back in the day.

He was in the middle of ranting about the technique required to be a sniper back in the day when a thought hit him

“Is magic really common here?”

Bucky shrugged. “Not usually. More so when you’re an Avenger, with Loki being… Loki.”

“What about love potions? Are they a thing?”

“Why?” Bucky frowned, clearly expecting the worst.

“I’m just trying to figure out how America and I got together. Could he have drugged me?”

There was a loud smash and they both turned to see Captain America holding the broken remains of his mug, face gone grey. Tony just raised his eyebrows at him and the man muttered an excuse before leaving.

Holding back a laugh, Tony turned back to Bucky, who wasn’t happy.

“Stevie wouldn’t do that. I know you don’t like him, but none of that is on Steve. He’s a good guy.”

“I know he’s a good guy,” Tony spat. “He’s a great guy. The best guy. I’m sure he has no faults.”

“Oh, he has faults, but that doesn’t make him bad. It makes him human.”

“According to my dad, he’s better than human.”

Bucky gave a dry chuckle. “Then you haven’t heard about his movie theatre visit.”

Tony listened to the story, but only because he enjoyed listening to Bucky talk. He didn’t care about Captain America’s life.

* * *

The next morning, Tony was pulling Rhodey into the kitchen in the hopes that he’d make his infamous honeybear pancakes.

“Tony, it’s just honey on pancakes. They aren’t that special.”

“But you cut them into bears! I want some before I fade from existence or whatever.”

Rhodey rolled his eyes because he was rude (but not really because Rhodey was the real perfect human), but he did soften and follow a bit more willingly.

Unfortunately, their pancake quest was interrupted by the people in the kitchen. There was Captain America, which was irritating because Tony thought he was being avoided, and yet another tall drink of water.

“Is it a prerequisite for Avengers to be fucking gorgeous? Who are you?”

The man laughed, though it had a more sinister air than a delighted one. “I am no Avenger, young Stark. I will forgive you because I am, indeed, fucking gorgeous.”

Tony squinted. “Are you Loki?”

“Can’t you tell by my godly appearance?” Loki put a hand on his hip and Tony looked him over.

“I don’t know, my thoughts aren’t particularly heavenly.”

Captain America coughed awkwardly and Tony snorted. Thankfully, so did Loki.

“I don’t know why you’d want me to change him back. He’s a real spitfire like this.”

“He’s always a spitfire,” the Captain muttered. “And he’s a kid, so don’t get any ideas.”

Loki deadpanned. “I’m an immortal being. You are all children to me.”

“Please. Loki…”

The god sighed and looked at Tony. “How did you marry this guy?”

“That’s what I’ve been wondering.”

Loki looked him over and Tony had the feeling that he was reading every emotion Tony had ever had. He looked back at Mr. America.

“Alright, alright. Your husband will be back in the morning.”

“Why not now?”

“Because I want to spend some time with him, otherwise what’s the point of deaging him?”

Steve grumbled and stormed out of the room. Rhodey was watching it all with a bemused expression. 

“We need pancakes,” Tony decided. “Honeybear, make the honeybears.”

He settled himself on the chair and prepared for some hot gossip.

“Did future-me say anything about the American dick? Because if the serum works anything like steroids, then we all know  _ that  _ situation.”

* * *

Going to sleep that night was difficult, considering Tony knew he’d be gone in the morning. Not gone, really, but older.

Kicking the blankets down, he went to the desk where some pens and paper were set up. Guess he became a great host in the future. Must’ve come from all the superheroes he was housing.

Tapping thoughtfully, Tony licked the pen and started writing.

_ Dear Future Me, _

_ If you’re reading this, it means you’re back to being the idiot who thought marrying Captain America was a good idea... _

When he was finished, he was able to go right to sleep.

* * *

Steve woke up and immediately knew something was different. For a start, there was a body wrapped around his middle.

Looking down, he was met with the sleeping, happy, wonderfully bearded face of his husband. Steve didn’t even care about waking him up, he just rolled them over so he could pin Tony down and press kisses all over his face and hair and shoulders and-

“Hey, hey, hey!” Tony pushed Steve’s head back, but he was laughing. He was looking down at him with love and it was the most beautiful thing Steve had ever seen.

“See, this is why I won’t get a dog,” Tony said. “I’m covered with enough slobber as it is.”

“You’re back!” Steve kissed him before he could say anything, savouring the taste of his husband, of Tony holding him back.

“I missed you so damn much,” he whispered against Tony’s collar, earning a shiver.

“I wasn’t- ah! I wasn’t aware I’d left.”

Steve reluctantly pulled back. “You don’t remember?”

Tony shook his head.

“What don’t I remember? Does this explain why I woke up alone on the couch and had to move here? Did we fight?”

Steve sighed, collapsing down so his head rested on Tony’s stomach. He was probably pouting, but Tony’s fingers started stroking his hair so it was immediately better.

“Loki cast a spell.”

Tony groaned. “I’m gonna kill him one day. I promise.”

“I may help,” Steve said. Tony’s nails started scratching lightly at his scalp and he had to resist the urge to purr.

“So what did Reindeer Games do?”

“He turned you into a teenager.”

Tony gaped. “What?”

Steve went about explaining what had happened, trying to stick to the facts. Eventually, though, his bitterness crept through as he talked about the real issue.

“You were flirting with everyone! Even Sam!”

“What the hell? Did kid-me really have no taste?”

“You hated me.” Steve hated how small his voice was. 

“Yeah,” Tony nodded. “I probably did.”

Steve pushed himself up, even though he immediately missed Tony’s fingers.

“Really?”

Tony sat up, reaching out as Steve swung his legs off the bed and put his face in his hands.

“I was an angsty teen, Cap. I hated everyone, except Rhodey and Jarvis.”

“Rhodey told me about Howard,” Steve forced out. “About why you hated me so much.”

A hand landed on his back, rubbing soothingly between his shoulders.

“Sweetheart,” Tony’s voice was tight. “I have daddy issues. A whole mountain of them. Back in the day, I’d project them onto you because I couldn’t do anything about Howard. It’s not because of anything you did.”

Steve looked up. “That was rather articulate.”

“I went to therapy,” Tony shrugged. “I got help because I was not okay. The kid you met? He was not okay.”

“He thought I might’ve drugged you with a love potion.”

“He was also an idiot. And saw the worst in everyone. Hell, I was like that until I met you. Until I fell in love and you showed me how good people could be.”

“Tony-”

“No,” Tony said, standing up and pulling at Steve to follow. “No grumpiness. This was a kid who dated Tiberius Stone. Who thought mixing coke and Red Bull would end well. I don’t know about you, but that’s not someone I trust.”

Steve stood, leaning on Tony as they walked to the door.

“So you didn’t marry me because you thought no one else would?”

“Babe,” Tony choked. “Angel face. Light of my life. I married you because I was completely and utterly twitterpated and wanted to spend my life with you.”

Tony kissed his cheek and Steve was about to say something equally sappy back when he saw something on the floor. He bent to pick up the envelope, figuring it must’ve been slipped under the door.

“It’s addressed to you,” he handed it to Tony with shaking hands. Tony frowned as he took it and opened it up.

He read the first line, his frown deepening, before he crumpled up the paper and threw it in the trash.

“What are you doing?” 

Tony shook his head, smile returning.

“I have no desire to read what that little brat wrote.”

“He wasn’t a brat,” Steve said. “He was you.”

Tony nodded, holding onto Steve’s waist as they walked. 

“Not a great part of me. I don’t know if you realized, but I used to be a little shit. Ask Rhodey, he can tell you all the stories.”

Steve held his husband close. Maybe he should write a letter to  _ his _ future self, reminding him to never let go.

  
  
  
  



	2. The Letter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's Tony's letter. I figured I'd add it in case anyone was interested...

_Dear Future Me,_

_If you’re reading this, it means you’re back to being the idiot who thought marrying Captain America was a good idea._

_Sure, he’s attractive, I’ll give you that. But so is every other Avenger on your team. So is literally anyone else. Did Howard give you such a complex you’d chain yourself to that piece of walking propaganda?_

_Everyone keeps telling me it was love, but I know better. We don’t love. We aren’t loved. Especially not by Captain America._

_You really want to be married to that guy? The one who hand on our wall til we were eight? The one who Howard said would hate us if he saw who we were? The one who was clearly the son he ever had?_

_Is this a way of appeasing him? Can’t be Captain America’s father, but he would’ve been his father-in-law._

_That’s bullshit. Rhodey said you matured, but I think you’re just as stuck in the past as I am. I think that whatever happened in Afghanistan sent you back to hero worship, desperate for whatever validation you could get._

_All I can hope is you relearn what I learned. That Captain America is no knight in shining spandex. That we don’t get to ride off in the sunset._

_And hopefully you learn soon, before your husband realizes it first._

_Get your head out of your ass,_

_Teenage-You_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Tony may have been right to toss it out o.O)


End file.
